As I’m in the midst of trying to spread the word about Intangible and getting started on book two, I find that I’m really struggling with balance. Balancing my work with my family, figuring out some sort of schedule (I’m so not good with schedules) for when I will work during the day/evening and when I will focus on my kids and husband.
It’s difficult, I have to say, for me to find that balance. And perhaps harder as I work from home in the midst of my family because I get so focused on writing/book work that I can’t pull myself out of it very easily. Or I just don’t think to. You know? It’s not even that I love the work so much that I get lost in it (though sometimes that is the case, but not always). It’s really that I throw my everything into it—I’m an all or nothing kinda person in many ways.
Perhaps it’s more of a struggle because I don’t have a schedule. I don’t have set times for work—I just grab the time when I can get it either during the day (which occurs rarely with these four fabulous kids of mine) or in the evenings (which means I’m neglecting my husband).
So, tell me. How do you balance your life with your life? For that’s how it feels to me. My family is my life. But now writing is my life, too. These two lives that demand a lot from me, that I want to put my all into, but I don’t actually have two lives worth of me, energy, or attention.
So I’m struggling to figure this out right now before I really get going with the next book. When I am likely to get all wrapped up in my work far too much of the time. I need to find some balance.
How do you find it?
Have a great day, everyone.
Well, if you figure it out, pass on the info!! I also have my own business that I run from home and I too struggle to balance it all (currently in the midst of a huge workload all the while having the housework pile up… UGH!). I only have 3 kids but, honestly, what’s one more at this point. ;) Kidding!
Actually, Jennifer, you’re right on that–four kids is hardly any different from three. Seriously. And I hear you on the housework. Oy. My house suffers too. ;-) But, honestly, my family suffers, and I hate that. Even while I’m doing it–neglecting them in small but significant-to-them ways–I hate it.
It’s hard. My 7yo tonight said, “Mom, if you didn’t have the book, then you could lay down with us at night.” Which just about broke my heart. Used to be we’d lay down with our kids every night to snuggle as they fell asleep. That hasn’t been happening hardly at all lately because both Steve and I are busy with book related work.
THIS is why I need to find balance. This is important to him–it’s something he loves, something that makes him feel loved. Balance! I need it now!
The things that are important to them change, so when you find them out, you adjust to make sure those are taken care of. You’ve got a couple old enough to help fold laundry, sort it, they can all put clothes away (well, maybe not extra small), etc. having some sort of schedule can help because everyone can know what to expect. And it helps you put boundaries around work time so that you also have family time. Can you get a sitter for a few hours a day? And yes, you will miss some moments, but they’ll live, I promise :)
Yes, I am going to have to get a sitter to do this next book. A sitter is a treat for them—someone new to play with! They *love* that.
And I don’t feel as if I’m missing moments (though I suppose I am) but I do feel as if I’m not fulfilling their needs as well as I should and could, and that I should take the time to lay down with them or give them my whole focus when I’m not sitting down to work. But unfortunately, I find my mind is so very often lost in the book, puzzling out plot issues or character troubles even when I’m not working. So I’m not as present as I used to be. Not as present as I want to be. Not as present as they need me to be.
A sitter will help immensely in that regard, I’m sure.